American Culture is more complex than you think

Orale Holmes!!

Having returned from San Antonio a couple of days ago I still feel full of Hispanic and Mexican culture. It's a great city, and I urge anyone to go there, with it's strong latin influence coupled with a city centre that looks like it has based itself on a French or Italian boulevard by the river, complete with little river taxis, overhanging trees and gratuitously overpriced cafes.

It is a strange combination I grant you when you are strolling along the river walk at dusk imagining you are somewhere on the Mediterranean with its quiet and dignified ambiance, when suddenly a mariachi band strikes up complete with huge sombreros and maracas. Not what you expect.
But then that is what I have found while I have been here for this relatively short amount of time. We all think we know so much about America and its people and culture. We are bombarded with images and reports as to 'what the US is like'; gun toting red-necks, spoilt and pampered rich bitches, or desperately poor, drug infested inner city communities. With so many films, tv shows, and news broadcasts coming from this country we are lead to believe that of any country America is the one we have the greatest idea about.

But we don't.

The society here is as complex and diverse as you will find anywhere in the world. The idea prevails that the US has a very simple culture based around the white middle american, when in fact in 30 years time they will make up less than 50% of the population. In it's short life as a country the USA has seen migration from all over the world, Mexico, South America, Thailand, Japan, Germany, Eastern Europe, India... the list goes on. All have very strong, local communities that keep their own traditions and cultures alive, as well as sharing these things with the rest of population creating a rich tapestry that is not to dis-similar to what you would find in London, Birmingham or many other places in the UK.

So all though you don't hear about it, it is totally normal to find and sushi restaurant that brews it's own czech style beer, or a mexican supermarket that sells halal produce. And of course on St Patricks day, no matter where you've come from or what your background is, everyone here has a little bit of Irish in them.

Until next time...


This week I've been listening to...

Shooting. The only sport endorsed by the Founding Fathers

So last time out I talked about America’s biggest obsession; food.
This week I'm going to discuss Americas other fanatical fixation; guns.

Now obviously I was well aware of what the attitudes of the majority of people were on this subject over here, especially down here in Texas, where it is considered not just a right to be able to own and fire a gun, but a responsibility.

There are 9 guns for every 10 people in this country, and I suspect that number is higher down here. Even in Austin, which is a pretty liberal thinking island in the Texas sea of right wing, red neck, republicanism, is still pretty much in love with firearms.

When I was up in Dallas I met a guy who inside his waistcoat had holstered two pistols (one in each side) and a spare clip for each!! We were only going out to Western dance lesson, what did he expect to happen?!? Maybe while we were going through the canyon we might have been set upon by a band of wild Indians, or the bar could have been seized by terrorists with dodgy German accents, and we would have had to crawl through the air ducts and take them out one by one while making light hearted wise cracks.

 

This gun fixation definitely had me feeling uneasy. I have never liked the idea that deadly weapons and ammunition could be purchased with such ease and with such indifference as to the reason they why were being bought in the first place. I knew the chances of actually looking down the business end of one were pretty slim, but knowing there were so many around made me think twice before I cut in line at the bar.

Yesterday however, thanks to Graham’s girlfriend Laura, we had the opportunity to go to a gun range outside of town and try some ‘ballistic therapy’.

So after paying our membership (yes, I am now a card carrying member of a gun range) and watching a 5 minuet safety video, they gave us our pistols; one revolver, one semi auto, some ammo and our targets and left us to it. Before we go any further I would like to point out that the people that worked there and the other members were Exactly how you are imagining them.

So we took turns to drill, pop, plug, open up, smoke, pump and bust a cap, from 10yds and two thoughts came to mind.

One; how easy it was. Now I know we were only using small caliber pieces, but after years of playing computer games, this was no different at all. This is a very scary thought.

Two; how empowering and fun it was. There were very strict rules as to what you could and could not do on the range, but the power that you feel when you hold and fire a gun is truly amazing. Another very scary thought.

So I write this to you, all Rambo’d up, armed to the teeth, camouflage paint on, about to head into the woods until my old commanding officer can talk me down :)

Until next time…

This week I’ve been mostly listening to…

Burger Nirvana

I'm pretty sure I've just had the best burger that I've ever eaten.
Hopdoddy Burger Bar. Go there. You will never find a meat patty that is so juicy and full of flavour I guaranty. I could of done some naughty things to that burger, things that would of had my face on the side of milk cartons and listed somewhere on the Internet, and this is Texas where meat isn't just part of your diet, it IS your diet. Someone said to me a friend of theirs was visiting here and she was a vegan. She can't have eaten anything here since she landed.
You can order an 18oz steak with a side of BBQ ribs and another of chili. That's just three meats cooked in different ways!!! Why isn't everyone here suffering from scurvy?

This part of the world is just a mecca for carnivores, with BBQ restaurants like churches, burger bars as Temples, and steak houses as Synagogues, on every corner. The sheer number of restaurants and eating establishments here is biblical. How they all survive I'm not quite sure, everyone must be so busy working in all these places that there can hardly be anyone to frequent them surely?!?
But there they all are, queueing up outside all these places, getting ready to gorge themselves, whether it's Tex-Mex, Sushi, BBQ, Far Eastern, Italian, South American, Steak, Burgers, Tacos, Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch or Dinner, everyone treats their meals with a religious fervour.
Other than politics and religion, both subjects I would not advise anyone to strike up a casual conversation with anybody here (unless they enjoy an hours worth of argument and harassment), the third most popular and strongly debated topic in this part of the world is where the best place to eat is. It is a debate that rages across offices and bars up and down the state. Even when people are in a restaurant they are there saying how;
'This place ain't as good as Uncle Jo's over on 23rd and Vincent'
'What you talking about? Jo's closed over three years ago'
'Yea, but their Philly Steaks were the best in town'
'But we're talking about the best you can get Now. Jo's don't count. You go to go over the county line to beat this here.
'What about Hobarts on Calhoon?'...
And so it goes on.

Everything, they say, is bigger in Texas. Portion sizes definitely stick to that principle and with that, so do a lot of peoples waistbands. However the Americans are fully aware of this. They are not so stupid as to realise they are eating too much, however their treatment for this is not just to reduce what they eat but to just go out and train like crazy. People run everyday, go to the gym, play sport and work out just so they can have that gargantuan pile of deep fried chicken wings covered in cheese.
I'm just hoping I don't suffer a heart attack after having my three hundredth Hopdoddy burger! Guess I should go for a run.

Until next time...


This week I have been mostly listening to...

Irish Cowboys and Conspiracy Theories

Good morning from Dallas and Happy St. Patrick's Day (to be sure, to be sure)!!!
Well just outside Dallas to be exact, in a town called Irving, at the backpackers lodge here. Nice place, but a bit of a weird set up, it feels like a dozen people have just invaded someones house, and having been doing so for the last few years. Met some nice people though.

So I've been into Dallas and walked around, looked at all the angels, spoken to the locals, and I think I have solved who shot JFK...

It was Marilyn Monroe!!! They had each fallen desperately in love with each other and knew that the American public would never allow them to have a relationship, so they faked her death the year before and then she hired Lee Harvey Oswald as a fall guy and set him up to fire blanks from the book depository. They ran off to Cuba together and lived the rest of their lives running a hotel in Havana.
It was great to listen to the conspiracy theorists around the Dealey Plaza, I think between them they thought there were about eight shooters comprising of the CIA, Castro, the Mafia, Communists, and one of them implicated Frank Sinatra?!?

 The other strange experience I was not expecting to see were Irish Cowboys. I spent yesterday at the Stockyards in Fort Worth, a through back to the old west where they drive cattle through the streets, you can sit in saloons sipping whiskey, and buy any kind of western clothing you can think of. However it being St Paddy's Day they dressed everything up in green and had shamrocks everywhere, including all the horses and the cowboys/girls to. It is an interesting sight to see a cowboy, herding a load of cattle, in a green 'Kiss me i'm Irish' hat, and a horse with four leaf clovers stuck all over it!!
I did meet a really nice guy having lunch, I was sat at the bar and he took the stool next to me, and was obviously a regular. He was an American version of John, one of our customers at Chandos, and spent the entire time making fun of the staff and my 'funny' accent, telling stories of his past and who he'd met, most of which I think were exaggerated, although I do believe the story he said about swimming with former President George Bush in his swimming pool.

*One annoying thing I have discovered also in America is that they don't perforate their loo roll. It's basic common sense is it not to create neat, easy to tear sections on toilet paper. Maybe I can introduce it and make millions???*

That's all from me folks, until next time...


This week I have been listening to...

Keep Ausin Weird

Having been here in Austin for a week or more now I feel I have seen and experienced enough of the city to be able to tell you people what I think about this city.

Basically it's Bristol with better weather, more cowboy hats, and no Banksy. It is a thriving hub of all things creative. If you are a musician then you will find thousands of venues, bands and singers that you can go to, watch and maybe even work with:
http://www.6street.com/6s_pg_live.htm
http://www.austinlivemusic.com/
If you like art there are some of the best galleries in the United States:
http://www.yarddog.com/
http://amoa-arthouse.org/
As well as some amazing cafes and bars that are full of cool and crazy people that have all been drawn here because of Austins inventive and imaginative atmosphere.
I was sat in a coffee shop the other day, not drinking coffee I hasten to add, writing my post cards and I looked around at the walls covered in murals and flyer's for theatre groups and local bands, the slightly off the wall clientele with their 'individual' style of clothes and facial hair, and I could have been sat in a coffee shop in Stokes Croft.

There is also a week long festival on here at the moment that has attracted hundreds of bands and comedians and artists so the place is even more packed than usual.

I have managed to see a few bands and events all of which were great, the one outstanding show though was a couple of local comedians called Master Pancake; http://drafthouse.com/series/master_pancake/austin Where you sit down and watch an awful film they have picked, in our case the Bruce Willis special effects extravaganza Armageddon, while they completely mocking it and generally making fun of every plot hole and bad piece of dialogue. Truly hilarious.

I also finally have my cowboy boots that I've been wanting for years. They are Great!!!!!!
Good thing to because I'm off to Dallas and Fort Worth today for the next week and I want to fit in :)
I also have a very funny experience with a cab driver that I don't have space for here but I promise I will try and find the time soon.

Next stop Dallas, so until next time...





This week I have been mostly listening to...

1 midget story; adventureous

Have you ever had a midget grinding up against your leg? Well I can now say that I have. As usual with situations like this it was all Grahams fault. It was a Friday night and here in Austin that means the place to go is 6th Street. If your a fan of live music, food, and booze (and if you're in this town and you're not, then 'keep on walking boy') then this is the street. Country, blues, rock, BBQ, Mexican, Italian... you'll find it on 'Dirty' 6th. So after a superb meal and some margaritas at the Iron Cactus we stopped in at a few other places and ended up at a roof top bar overlooking the street below. Surprisingly the DJ had obviously decided that the perfect music for the almost exclusively white, middle class audience was some dirty hip hop/RnB!! And more surprisingly he was right!! We Caucasians seem to like nothing better than to pretend we have style and rhythm and dance around to black music. Unfortunately almost none of us can pull this off with the necessary deftness or panache. All of which means that the dance floor was packed with highly lubricated individuals showing off their 'considerable' disco moves. Women however do have a little bit of freedom. Most have the luxury that all they need to do is sway and gyrate in a sexy manor and all is well.

Such was the observation that I was explaining to my partner in crime. And so to prove my point Graham took it upon himself to do his best Beyonce impression and shake his money maker for all it was worth. Now such a display in the animal kingdom would surely attract any number of female admirers that were within sight, and this was no different. Before either of us could even react we had a couple of ladies grinding away right back in response to this jaw dropping show. The only thing being one was of a pint sized proportion, and the other, how can we say, was not.
This was a little and large double act that was not on TV back in the 80s!
It is fair to say neither of us were prepared for such an occurrence and we each fell back instantly into the polite British gentlemen mode and smiled, laughed, and backed away slowly and apologetically.

After retreating to a safe distance and taking a moment to consider what had just befallen us. I came to the only obvious conclusion that Grahams posterior, when shaken in a provocative manner is like a homing beacon to any modestly sized women who are drawn like a moth to a flame, and are unable to do anything about it.

So as of now any gyration on Grahams part are strictly prohibited and are only to be attempted under laboratory conditions under the supervision of trained experts.

On another note entirely. If you are a fan of comics, animation, or art in general, check out this guys web-site: http://www.artofakira.com/ I happened to catch a lecture from him at the South by South West Digital Expo and it was mind blowing. The detail and passion that went into the making of one the most influential and ground breaking films of all time is truly inspiring.

So until next time...

Today i have been mostly listening to;

To open the batting...

Here I am folks. I made it out in one piece and the jet lag is finally disappearing, only to be replaced with epic quantities of food, beer and Texas frivolity.
Its been a long time since I've flown any great distance and all I remember of it is the mind numbing boredom, because the one film they are showing is on a tiny screen half the length of the plane away, the horrible food, no leg room and the guarantee of a screaming baby crying all the way through the flight. So I was pleasantly surprised at the screen in the back of the seat in front had 200 films, TV shows and games to choose from which meant I didn't need to resort to either the puzzle book I had bought at the airport or the sleeping pills (to be used on either myself or any restless infants). The lack of leg room however is still something I see modern airlines have kept with to keep that old fashioned, authentic, feel to flying  :-)
So i arrived in Austin and Graham, who some of you may know, others will over the course of this blog, is kindly putting me up while I'm here in his brand new flat (I'll take some pictures of it once its cleaned up, so that should be in about three months!!) Kim, his sister in law, is also staying for a couple of weeks while she works at the South by South West music festival. I've also met his very nice girlfriend Laura (it must be his accent) and some of his work friends over a beer which seems like daily end of day ritual for most folks out here.
I'm currently writing this entry in the Texas State History Museum, which what it lacks in its stories of times long long ago more than makes up for with its razz a mataz and over blown enthusiasm for what it does have.
I have also been, this morning, to the LBJ Presidential Library and stood in a replica of the Oval Office as it was back in the 60s. Except it was 1/8th smaller than the original?!? Maybe its so that if people are casing the place out in peroration to break into the real Oval Office their scheme will be slightly off and they'll end up running into a wall which is 1/8th closer than they were expecting. Ingenious!  :-)

Until next time...

This week I have been mostly listening to...